Absurd and Askew

It's so frustrating dealing with people who want you to provide high quality, professional services to them for next to nothing. You're giving them a decent discount as it is, yet it's not enough. Some people just don't understand that hiring a professional designer (instead of the high school kid next door or somebody you know from church who understands how to use Photoshop) costs money. By all means, get yourself the kid next door if you only want to shell out $50 for an entire gate-fold brochure design, but don't come knocking on my door, agree upon a price, and then act as if I've done you wrong when you get my invoice.

I'll go into detail without naming the client by name, because if I don't get this off my chest, I'm going to be fuming about it for a while. Here's the situation...

I was approached a number of months ago by a new client requesting a quote on a full project that included multiple products. Because the client was a non-profit agency, I offered them a package price on the full project, but also slashed that package price by half. The project entailed a total of five items for an upcoming event they were holding. The first two of the five items were produced, with one of these being the single item that would be the most time consuming of all of them. They asked me to go ahead an invoice them for work done so far. I did. I invoiced them for half the total package price with the other half due when the remaining 3 items were completed. Since the largest item was included in these first two, that seemed very fair. They paid the invoice and continued to hire me for more work.

As I completed additional jobs for them (separate from the original package deal job), I would invoice, giving them a 35% discount because of their non-profit status and knocking a few hours off my time. I wasn't charging them at all for meetings we would have, which I would normally charge for because it is my time. I was making around half of what I normally make on projects of the size I was doing for them.

The last project I completed for them was invoiced on August 5th (keep in mind this was a *separate* project and not related to the package deal). I received a reply email from the client the same day saying she was sending the invoice through for processing. On August 28th, over 3 weeks after I invoiced, I get a voice mail from her stating that the event for the original project (the package deal) for which I had been hired had been canceled and that she had been holding onto my August 5th invoice until we could figure out what to do with the remaining balance on the package deal. Come again? You've been "holding onto" my invoice for over 3 weeks and you're just now getting around to telling me that you're doing so? Remember, the last I heard from her was in reply to the email I sent with the invoice that said she was submitting it for processing. She proceeds to tell me in the voice mail that she's going to go ahead and submit the invoice. (Um. Thanks?) She also mentions another project they want me to do and asks if we can meet.

I emailed her on Monday, August 31st, and let her know that I was available to meet any time. Also within that email I told her I would go over the package deal price and the items that were included and figure out if there was any amount of it outstanding, based on the percentage of time each portion of the project would take, and that if there was an outstanding balance, that I would take that off of the invoice for the upcoming project. She replied back and we set up a meeting for today.

This morning she called to tell me that she can't make the meeting and asked if we can reschedule. Then she proceeded to tell me that she still (yes, I said *STILL*) had not sent my August 5th invoice in for processing, but she'll so very kindly go ahead and do that now. (Again... um.. thanks?) I say to her, "If you can get that processed as soon as possible, I'd appreciate it. It's been a number of weeks now."

Well, apparently she didn't like that I was a little upset that she still hasn't processed that invoice after telling me TWICE that she was sending it through for processing. I understand that she was wondering about a refund on the half-payment for the package deal (by the way, there is no refund due to them; in fact, they owe me $13), however, I was never (still have not been) given the opportunity to work with them on that situation. And I would have been more than willing to do so. She just simply chose to withhold payment of an invoice that was not even related to that package deal project.

Then she proceeded to say I was charging too much. Remember, I've been giving them a 35% discount in addition to knocking off hours. I can't claim on my taxes the money I lose by giving them this cut rate. You're not allowed to claim services rendered to a non-profit. 35% discount and knocking off hours. I'm just so mean.

It wouldn't bother me so much if she didn't act like it was all my fault. Um. When you invoice someone and it states very clearly at the bottom of that invoice that payment after 15 days from the date of the invoice is subject to penalty, wouldn't you at least expect that they would be in touch with you within a reasonable amount of time to let you know there's an issue and they haven't sent the invoice through yet? Especially after they've told you twice that they're sending it through for processing? I think I have a right to be angry. I did nothing wrong here. I don't give away my services for free and once I've invoiced, I expect that invoice to be paid within a reasonable amount of time. I work hard to earn that money and that money pays my bills. Thanks for the disrespect, chick.

I'm sick of people not understanding the time and creative juices involved in graphic design. This is what I hear: "I want a gate-fold brochure, front and back, full color, original design, and I want you to finish everything in 3 hours. Then I want you to make unlimited changes to it but I don't want to be charged any additional time for any of those multiple changes. Then I want you to correspond with the printer for me and then get it off to the printer for me. And can we also throw in a meeting or two about the brochure? Only an hour or so for each meeting. What's all that come to? $200?" Yeah. Maybe for the guy you know from church who knows how to work that darned Photoshop program.

I'll jump through all kinds of hoops for you, but ONLY IF YOU PAY ME TO!

Seriously. Do people like this walk into their doctor's office, their mechanic, their lawyer's office and say: "Can you work for me for about 25% of what you normally charge? Now, I don't want any reduction in quality or services and I want you to be there when I say jump to ask how high, but I really don't want to pay you what it normally costs to hire a professional. I want to pay you what I would pay my next door neighbor to take out my gallbladder/fix my brakes/handle my divorce."

Yeah. Kinda like that.

I'll be very surprised if that invoice ever gets processed. I have a feeling I've been duped. Unfortunately, it was by a very reputable national non-profit agency (yep, one you'd know if I mentioned the name) and because one person in their employ has decided to behave unprofessionally, it's made me seriously reconsider ever doing work for a non-profit again.

I'm also thinking I might have to get in touch with my attorney.

I'm waaaay busy with work (the 8-5er) and several freelance jobs right now, but for some reason the lyrics to this song keep playing over and over in my head this morning. Some reason. Yeah. Some reason like I want to shout them at certain people. Life is what you make it. :/

*************

"Get Over It"
The Eagles

I turn on the tube and what do I see
A whole lotta people cryin' "don't blame me"
They point their crooked little fingers at everybody else
Spend all their time feelin' sorry for themselves
Victim of this, victim of that
Your momma's too thin and your daddy's too fat

Get over it
Get over it
All this whinin' and cryin' and pitchin' a fit
Get over it, get over it

You say you haven't been the same since you had your little crash
But you might feel better if I gave you some cash
The more I think about it, old Billy was right
Let's kill all the lawyers, kill 'em tonight
You don't want to work, you want to live like a king
But the big, bad world doesn't owe you a thing

Get over it
Get over it
If you don't want to play, then you might as well split
Get over it, get over it

It's like going to confession every time I hear you speak
You're makin' the most of your losin' streak
Some call it sick, but I call it weak

You drag it around like a ball and chain
You wallow in the guilt; you wallow in the pain
You wave it like a flag, you wear it like a crown
Got your mind in the gutter, bringin' everybody down
Complain about the present and blame it on the past
I'd like to find your inner child and kick its little ass

Get over it
Get over it
All this bitchin' and moanin' and pitchin' a fit
Get over it, get over it

Get over it
Get over it
It's gotta stop sometime, so why don't you quit
Get over it, get over it

*************

Yep. Something like that.

This post needs a little prelude. Check out my previous post on telemarketers to understand the fake voicemail we have set up at work where we dump telemarketing calls.

Anytime anyone calls at work and asks for "Jim" the call gets transferred to the void (i.e., a voicemail account for someone who doesn't exist at this company). The voicemail is never heard. The voicemail gets dumped every once in a while to make way for more unsolicited telemarketers who are oblivious to the fact that there is no "Jim" and that "Jim" will never be available and will never return their calls. "Jim" will exist as long as telemarketers continue to call despite being asked not to.

I'll be perfectly honest, the worst offender of the unsolicited telemarketing game is AT&T. Because we do have our phone account with them, they won't remove us from their telemarketing list. They call at least once a day if not more than that asking either to speak to "Jim" or "the person who handles our telephone account." "Jim," of course, handles all of the sales calls for the telephone account. I've been weeding out AT&T salesmen for years at work, but yesterday's sales call from AT&T was over the top. Oh, how I wish I'd been recording it.

I can't remember all of it word-for-word, but certain parts I do remember with distinct clarity. The rest may not be word-for-word, but it's awfully close to the actual conversation. I'll call the sales guy "Angry AT&T Guy" because, although he gave me his name, I'm sure it wasn't his real name. It went a little something like this:

-----
ANGRY AT&T GUY: Is "Jim" available.
Note that this is my first tip-off that it's a sales person.

ME: He's unavailable. Would you like his voicemail?

ANGRY AT&T GUY: I need to talk to "Jim" right now.
From this point on, everything said by this guy is in his big boy, angry voice.

ME: He's unavailable. Would you like his voicemail?

ANGRY AT&T GUY: No. I need you to transfer me to him right now.

ME: He's unavailable. Would you like his voicemail?

ANGRY AT&T GUY: You need to transfer me to him right now.

ME: May I ask who's calling?

ANGRY AT&T GUY: Jeff Gates.

ME: And what company are you with?

ANGRY AT&T GUY: AT&T. Is he out of the office or what?

ME: Is this a sales call?

ANGRY AT&T GUY: Are you going to answer every question with a question?

ME: Is this a sales call?

ANGRY AT&T GUY: What do you think?

ME: I think it's a sales call.

ANGRY AT&T GUY: You're right. Is he in the office?

ME: He's unavailable. Would you like his voicemail?

ANGRY AT&T GUY: This is AT&T! We handle your phone service!

ME: So?

ANGRY AT&T GUY: What's your first and last name?

ME: What's yours?

ANGRY AT&T GUY: I already told you that. Don't you listen?

ME: Yes, I do. You said it was Jeff Gates, right?
I wrote it down as soon as he said it, even though I know it wasn't his real name.

ANGRY AT&T GUY: What's your name?

ME: "Jim" is unavailable. Would you like his voicemail or not?

ANGRY AT&T GUY: No! I want to be transferred to him right now!

ME: Good luck with that. You have to get through me first.

ANGRY AT&T GUY: Rambleramblenonsensenonsenseyellyell blah! blah! blah!

**CLICK** <--the sound of my phone receiver going back into the cradle
------

I have to say that I'm really hoping "Mr. Jeff Gates" from AT&T calls for "Jim" again today and that I'm the one who picks up the call, because I want to mess with him some more. I think maybe today I'll tell him that I don't speak English and can't understand a word he's saying. I'll just keep repeating that over and over again. That's a little more fun than just putting him on indefinite hold. :)

In honor of yet another Monday, I'm taking this opportunity to run down a list of pet peeves. Disclaimer: This list is in no way in order of pet-peeviness, nor is it complete.

1) Printed phone books and yellow pages: Seriously, does anyone even use these anymore other than for making themselves a little better able to see over the dashboard?

2) The countless lovely ladies at bars and nightclubs whom I've witnessed coming out of a stall and walking right past the sink (and soap) and out the door. Guys, do you know how many women do this in bars?

3) Football players who thank God after a win, 'cause we all know what a big football fan God is. There are innocent children dying every day all over the world, but God always takes a minute to make sure his favorite team wins.

4) DVR recordings that finish recording your show three minutes before the show actually ends.

5) Leaving dishes to "soak" in the clear side of the sink instead of just rinsing them out with a little hot water and putting them right into the dishwasher.

6) Shopping carts that pull to one side or the other. And they say grocery shopping isn't a work-out. Ever try to keep a full cart going in a straight line instead of crashing into the fully stocked shelves of pasta sauce?

7) Speaking of shopping, items in stores that are not clearly marked with a price, either on the item itself or on a tag/sign. I have a rule. If it isn't marked, and there's no price scanner within a short walking distance, I don't buy it. I'll go to another store where it *is* marked.

8) Guys who spit on the ground in public. It's not cool. It's not sexy. It's not macho. It's not a turn-on. It's just disgusting. I don't want to accidently walk through your spit. Do like you expect your women to do, you macho jerk... swallow it.

9) Careless placement of the fry containers in the fast food bags, resulting in 2/3rds of the fries at the bottom of the bag. Especially bad when there's more than one order of fries. Then you gotta split what's in the bag and test a few in the process, which inevitably means you eat more fries than what you're entitled to and someone is gonna get mad.

10) People who don't use their turn signals. It's there for a reason, dumbass.

11) Tailgaters. I really don't need to explain this, do I?

12) People who don't understand the meanings of the terms "personal space" or "private conversation."

13) Any credit card company or banking institution who charges a fee for paying your bill with a check and/or debit card. Really? You're a bank. Who's charging you the fee to process my payment that you must then pass on to me?

14) Answering the office phone only to hear: "somebody from this number just called me." Yeah? Did they leave you a message? No? Then it must not have been important. I have no way (and frankly, no desire) to track down the person who called you and hung up when it obviously wasn't important enough for them to leave you a message.

15) People who don't believe you when you tell them they have the wrong number. Yes, it's wrong. No, there's no one here by the name of Francis. Yes, that's this number. Yes, I'm sure there's no one here by that name. No, I don't know why you were given the wrong number. No, I have no idea if anyone by the name of Francis ever had this number.

16) One minute later, answering a call from the same caller in #15, who is at this point "just checking" that the number they are dialing is, in fact, wrong.

17) Salesmen and/or canvassers who sincerely believe that the "No Solicitations" sign doesn't pertain to them. If you are, without my request, asking for my money, time or signature, you are soliciting for it. Please note that there is no small print at the bottom of my "No Solicitations" sign that says "unless you are seeking my vote or want to give me information about Jesus that I might not already know."

18) Handling charges. Really? I want to see a break-down of how much it actually costs you to handle my order. Isn't that cost already included in the mark-up of the cost of the item in the first place? Can I come down there and handle it myself to save a little money?

I was reading an article today on CNN's site about trusting your gut. They made mention of how trusting your gut in a relationship would save you a lot of heartache and I was reminded of my favorite "cheating spouse" story. The best part is, it's a true story. I didn't know this couple firsthand, but I knew the woman in passing. The story was relayed to me by a mutual friend and I've never heard a better one, before or since.


The couple wasn't actually married, but living together. They shared, among other things, keys to one another's cars. For a few months she had been suspicious that he was cheating on her with a co-worker of his that they both knew. He often called her to say he had to stay late at work. Eventually she got fed up with what she was sure was lies despite all of his denials, so the next time he called to say he was working late, she jumped in her car and drove to the other woman's apartment.

Parked there in front of the co-worker's apartment was her boyfriend's car. She parked next to him. I'm assuming she might have sat there for a moment trying to decide how best to go about confronting the cheater. I don't know that for sure, of course, but I add it with literary license because I can see her doing it, turning over different scenarios in her mind. Should she find a pay phone (this was before everyone and his brother had a cell phone) and call the woman's number and ask for him, or should she simply go straight up to the door and knock? Instead, she did something I really admire.

She got out of her car that she had parked there next to his and, using the key to his car that she had on her keychain, she climbed into his car and drove back home. Not a word. No confrontation at all. When he walked out and saw her car sitting there instead of his own, he knew he'd been caught. He reluctantly got into her car and drove home, most likely conceiving all the different excuses he could come up with to get himself out of hot water. He didn't have a chance to use any of them.

When he got home, he found his car crammed full with his clothing and everything else of his that she could stuff into it. She asked him for her car key back, and the one to their apartment, gave him back the key to his car, and sent him on his way.

What I love about this is that there was no arguing. He had to suffer the drive home knowing that she knew, but I'm pretty sure he never expected her to pack his belongings into his car and give him his walking papers without the chance to "explain." She basically just wiped her hands of him.

She's my hero. :)

In a quiet office, my tennis shoes squeak. It's not something I notice anywhere else. It's only here, where there's no noise but that of the forced air and the ticking of the clock on my desk. (I haven't turned on any music yet. It's still early.) The few people here are silently tucked away in their own offices working on something or another. I just got back inside from a smoke break and, as I'm walking down the hallway to my office, I notice how loudly my tennis shoes are squeaking. I thought it important enough to blog about only because it brought me to another thought. That's how my mind works. Click. Click. Click. Most of it random nonsense.

Shoes that normally go unnoticed are hugely noticeable in the midst of such a hushed environment.

Little things in life that normally go unnoticed are hugely noticeable in the midst of a quietly stable environment.

See the connection?

Sometimes I get so bored with life that all the little annoyances that normally go unnoticed become these big, looming issues. Why? Because routine is not my friend, and in the quiet, calm of routine I start to search for something to which I can pay attention. BAM! There they are, these little nothings staring me in the face and daring me to confront them. I don't take challenge lightly; I meet it head-on. Even when all logic tells me it's not important, damn it, they dared me, and thus I must address them.

Stupid.

I've read all the "don't sweat the small stuff" books and heard all the advice about not "making mountains out of molehills." I know that logically I should just ignore these tiny nothings because they really are a bunch of inconsequential crap, but boredom exaggerates them. Addressing a pile of inconsequential crap is something to do that breaks the monotany. It's not right. It's not helpful. It definitely doesn't make life easier. But maybe that's the point. I don't like it when everything is too easy and there's no challenge, no goals, no uphill battles, no feeling of victory when I've defeated one of them.

Wow. I truly am my own worst enemy.

Click. Click. Click.

One would think, with all that drive to be challenged and satisfaction of achievement when I've reached a goal, that I would be highly competitive. I'm not. Not in the least. I just can't stand to be idle. If I'm not creating something, I'm fixing something. If I'm not doing either of those, I'm learning something new. I'm not happy unless I'm submersed in busy-ness. I have to have a goal. I don't care if that goal is to get the dust bunnies out from under the couch on X day, I have to have something planned to accomplish or I get bored. Quickly.

To my husband, that probably makes me high maintenance. The thing is, I don't look to him to entertain me, but I don't want him bringing me down either. The worst part for him is probably when I do get bored and I start turning those inconsequential nothings into gotta-fix-it challenges. I guess that means that it's in his best interests that I stay occupied.

Life would probably be much easier if I would ignore the squeaky shoes.

In lieu of paying any attention at all to that other memorial happening today, I've created my own private memorial.

These are our soldiers that have given their lives for us since June 25, 2009 when the media went into a frenzy because of the untimely death of that other guy.

Where are the gold caskets for these guys and girls?

This list is incomplete, but it was the best I could do. If anyone has a name to add, please feel free to leave a comment.

6/25/09

• Brian N. Bradshaw, 24, Army 1st Lieutenant, Steilacoom, WA


• Joshua L. Hazlewood, 22, U.S. Army Reserve Specialist, Manvel, Texas

6/26/09

• Peter K. Cross, 20, U.S. Army Private 1st Class, Saginaw, TX

6/28/09

• Steven T. Drees, 19, U.S. Army Private, Peshtigo, WI


• Timothy A. David, 28, U.S. Army Sergeant, Gladwin, Michigan

6/29/09

• Terry J. Lynch, 22, U.S. Army Sergeant, Shepherd, MT


• Roger L. Adams Jr., 36, U.S. Army National Guard Sergeant, Jacksonville, NC


• Juan C. Baldeosingh, 30, U.S. Army National Guard Sergeant, Newport, NC


• Robert L. Bittiker, 39, U.S. Army National Guard Specialist, Jacksonville, NC


• Edward C. Kramer, 39, U.S. Army National Guard Sergeant 1st Class, Wilmington, NC

7/2/09

• Charles S. Sharp, 20, U.S. Marine Lance Corporal, Adairsville, GA

7/4/09

• Aaron E. Fairbairn, 20, U.S. Army Private 1st Class, Aberdeen, WA


• Justin A. Casillas, 19, U.S. Army Private 1st Class, Dunnigan, CA

7/6/09

• 6 yet unnamed U.S. Army soldiers killed Afghanistan

IT IS THE SOLDIER

It is the Soldier, not the minister
Who has given us freedom of religion.

It is the Soldier, not the reporter
Who has given us freedom of the press.

It is the Soldier, not the poet
Who has given us freedom of speech.

It is the Soldier, not the campus organizer
Who has given us freedom to protest.

It is the Soldier, not the lawyer
Who has given us the right to a fair trial.

It is the Soldier, not the politician
Who has given us the right to vote.

It is the Soldier who salutes the flag,
Who serves beneath the flag,
And whose coffin is draped by the flag,
Who allows the protester to burn the flag.

--CHARLES M. PROVINCE

May they rest in peace.